Top 10 Ways We’d Want George R.R. Martin to Kill Us Off

Top 10 Ways We’d Want George R.R. Martin to Kill Us Off

George R.R. Martin wants to kill you. (Assuming that you haven’t already died several times over in the course of reading his A Song of Ice and Fire series or watching the wildly popular HBO show, Game of Thrones.) This time, he wants you to pay him to do it (or rather, donate to charity) and believe us, if we had $20,000 lying around, we’d throw it at him faster than you can say “Red Wedding.”

The money is going to the Wild Spirit Wolf Sanctuary in Sante Fe, New Mexico; and if you’re feeling incredibly generous, Martin has promised to name a future ASOIAF character after you, allow you to choose your station in life, and then kill you off in a way that we’re assuming will be both memorable and traumatizing. Tragically, we don’t have 20 Gs, but we do have quite a few ideas for how we’d like Martin to murder us.

10) Mauled by a direwolf… or death by dragons… or eaten by one of the White Walker’s creepy horses. We’re not picky.

9) As one of Khaleesi’s Unsullied, fighting in her honor.

8) At a wedding. Duh.

7) Denying the Hound chicken.

6) Sacrificed to the Lord of Light.

5) Slowly, mentally decimated by Ramsay Bolton.

4) Slapped by Jaime Lannister’s golden hand.

3) Alcohol poisoning from trying to keep up with Cersei.

2) Shot through the heart by an arrow from Ygritte for making eyes at Jon Snow.

1) Ending up on Arya’s list.

Sike. We don’t die. All men must die, but we are not men.

Amazing fan art © nedesm via MemeCenter

Kelly Gallucci
Kelly Gallucci is the Executive Editor of, where she oversees Bookish's editorial content, offers book recommendations, and interviews authors like Leigh Bardugo, V.E. Schwab, and Sabaa Tahir. She's just coming off of moderating an author panel at New York Comic Con. When she's not working, Kelly can be found color coordinating her bookshelves, eating Chipotle, and binging Netflix with her pitbull. She is a Gryffindor.


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