If you thought it was weird that Ylvis (of “The Fox” fame) and the Duck Dynasty guys were writing children’s books, we’ve got another headscratcher for you: Keith Richards just announced his new picture book. Yep, the Rolling Stones guitarist is giving back to the children of his fans by sharing a heartwarming story about his grandfather in Gus & Me: The Story of My Granddad and My First Guitar.
It was Richards‘ other book—his 2010 autobiography, Life—that inspired him to this project, as the memoir had him plumbing childhood memories. He also cited becoming a grandfather for the fifth time as part of his inspiration: “The bond, the special bond, between kids and grandparents is unique and should be treasured,” he said. “This is a story of one of those magical moments.”
While the rest of us are still shaking our heads in disbelief, Richards’ publisher at Little, Brown Books for Young Readers added this statement: “Who wouldn’t welcome the opportunity to meet Keith Richards as a young boy? Gus & Me invites readers to be in the room at the electrifying moment that Keith holds a guitar in his hands for the first time.” Richards will be teaming up with his daughter, Theodora Dupree Richards, who will illustrate.
What especially made us laugh was how quickly the Internet jumped on this news as a joke. Some of the best responses came from Gawker commenters, who riffed on children’s book titles inspired by drugs. Commenter Eldritch had us giggling so hard:
Green Eggs and Ham IS MURDER by Morrissey
Thomas the Crazy Train by Ozzy Osbourne
See Spot Wait For The Man by Lou Reed
Jane and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day by Perry Farrell
The Cat in the Hat is Dead by Peter Murphy
Joey Ramone the Pest by Johnny Ramone
Charlotte and the Other Spiders From Mars by David Bowie
Commenter tornadoslacks had some zingers, too:
Oh! The Places You’ll Go and Buy Drugs!
Where the Sidewalk Ends Is Where You Get the Best Shit… Ask for Lenny
Yep, we would read all of these (especially David Bowie). But perhaps my favorite knee-jerk reaction to the news comes from Twitter:
— Gibsons Bookstore (@GibsonsConcord) March 12, 2014
Gus & Me comes out September 9, 2014.