May The Plot Be Ever In Your Favor


May The Plot Be Ever In Your Favor


At last the wait is over! Catching Fire, the second film of the Hunger Games series hits theaters today. In this round of Fandom Mashup, Zola staff members select tributes and battle it out over which of their favorite literary characters would win the 75th Annual Hunger Games.


SamMerchant of Death book coverSamantha, Editorial Assistant
Bobby Pendragon

As an upstanding citizen of the Capitol, I plan to sponsor Bobby Pendragon from the Pendragon series. Not only has he already saved an entire universe, he has also competed in a set of games not unlike the Hunger Games and won. Traveling through space and time to different territories means he is comfortable fighting in unique settings. Whether the arena is all water like Cloral, a jungle like Eelong, or a desert like Zadaa; Bobby is prepared. Dealing with an enemy like Saint Dane, who can shape shift at will, means Bobby knows very well not to trust anyone or anything and is always on his toes. I would send him a flashlight, as he has proven that to be a most useful tool.


KellyThe Shining Girls book coverKelly, Co-Editor
Kirby Mazrachi

I’d put all of my sponsorship money into Kirby Mazrachi from Lauren Beukes’ The Shining Girls. She’s feisty, brilliant, determined, and insanely resilient. At the start of The Shining Girls Kirby has already survived a vicious attack by a serial killer, an attack that should’ve killed her, and now she’s hellbent on finding the man who tried to do her in. She isn’t a solo act either – she knows when she needs help and finds it in Dan, an ex-homicide reporter. Kirby’s strength, perseverance, and willingness to get help to achieve her goal would make her unstoppable in the Hunger Games because she’ll fight with everything she has to survive. Plus she’s a justice seeking badass—she’d shake up the Capitol for sure.


DWThe Name of the Wind book coverDongWon, Director of Product Management
Kvothe

My money’s in Kvothe from The Name of the Wind. As a barely-adult whiney supergenius sorcerer, he can out-pout Jennifer Lawrence while doing some serious magics, lute playing, and generally making a mess of things. He’s enough of an asshole to knife his enemies (and frenemies) and since there are no open flames to run around with in a library, he won’t get kicked out of the Capitol. Plus, he also has an affinity for strange, small girls who sing a lot, which seems to be a key component to surviving the games.


JayFight Club book coverJay, QA Manager
Tyler Durden

I plan to sponsor Tyler Durden from Fight Club. I think the government in The Hunger Games could use a little Project Mayhem. He would really rock the established order. Plus…young Brad Pitt. I mean, come on. His name was Robert Paulson.


MarisaThe Bone Season book coverMarisa, Editorial Intern
Paige Mahoney

I sponsor Paige Mahoney — I have no doubt she (would/will) survive the Hunger Games. I’m sure she’d volunteer as tribute, too, in dramatic J. Law fashion, if it meant saving a child’s life. Just think about it: Paige is the only person who could win the Hunger Games in less than 10 minutes. She would simply use her spirit to bloodlessly kill the other tributes before they even made it to the Cornucopia. How’s that for an upset!


JoeMerchant of Death book coverJoe, Chief Executive Officer
Mr. Kurtz

I’d go literary with Mr. Kurtz…he would just take over the Games entirely, organize the contestants into a group of cannibals or something, stage a revolution. And then regret it all, but not before the rulers of Panem had been overthrown.


PhilBig Fish book coverPhil, Director of Reviews
Edward Bloom

I sponsor Edward Bloom of Daniel Wallace’s Big Fish, the Edward viewed through the stories told by his son William. This Edward, along with being a hilarious, joke-telling charmer, emerges victorious no matter the situation. He tames a giant. He saves a mermaid. He vanquishes a town-threatening demon dog. He rides a catfish to the bottom of a lake. His world travels, his dexterity in both city and country, his ability to sell anyone on anything – these, too, will advantage him.

Plus, as his son tells it, he can beat the Reaper. Rather than croak when, as an old man, the end nears, he simply changes into a big fish and swims away.


JordanDiscworld book coverJordan, Digital Production Manager
Granny Weatherwax

Granny Weatherwax from Discworld. Although she probably has enough power in her pinky nail to thwart her enemies, she seldom uses anything other than trickery—specifically her brand of ‘headology’. It has been said that the difference between headology and psychiatry is that, were you to approach either with a belief that you were being chased by a monster, a psychiatrist will convince you that there are no monsters coming after you, whereas a headologist will hand you a bat and a chair to stand on.


AmandaScott Pilgrim book coverAmanda, Senior Designer
Scott Pilgrim

Scott Pilgrim. Obviously.


 

 

HAPPY HUNGER GAMES!

 

 

This article originally appeared on Zola Books.

Kelly Gallucci
Far too busy rereading the Harry Potter series, Kelly finds that her greatest literary sin is that she neglected to read classics like The Shining and The Perks of Being a Wallflower. In between overseeing the editorial content for Bookish, holding interviews with authors like Isaac Marion and Lauren Beukes, and creating book recommendations for Kanye West—Kelly’s trying to catch up on the books she missed out on. She just finished The Great Gatsby and might be in love with Fitzg. Kelly received her B.A. in English Writing from Marist College and her M.A. in Screenwriting from National University of Ireland, Galway.