If We ‘Wore’ These Books, All the Feels Would End Us

If We ‘Wore’ These Books, All the Feels Would End Us

We all have it–the book that moves us to laughter, tears, and/or gasps; where we feel like we’re so keyed in to what the characters are feeling that we might as well be twins. But, if that reading experience isn’t immersive enough for you, check out the “wearable book” that three MIT students dreamed up: It adjusts lighting, vibrations, and even airbags around your body to feed you the characters’ emotions as you read.

Before you go trying to order one, give some thought to the books you typically enjoy. Could you survive crippling embarrassment, the ending of any John Green book, or (gulp) a session in the Red Room of Pain? Here, six books that we would not want to try on.

  1. Book

    1.The Fault in Our Stars

    ALL THE FEELS

    Nope. No. No, no, no, no. No thanks, please. Are you kidding me? First of all, I am ALREADY feeling all of the things every time these guys say “Okay?” “Okay.” to each other. I don’t think it’s possible to feel their emotions more—but if there is a way, I don’t want it.

    Source: Gifrific

    I actively choose to read this book on public transportation in the hopes that it’ll help me hold the broken pieces of my heart together (the heart thatJohn Green broke), and it doesn’t work. I actually have been 50 pages away from the ending for five days now and haven’t been able to muster the emotional strength to finish it. Hazel Grace, move over; I’ll need your cannula to breathe when finishing this novel. –Kelly Gallucci

    Source: Tumblr/Film Fever

  2. Book

    2.Fifty Shades of Grey

    Short-circuiting orgasms

    You can bet that not so many people would be reading Fifty Shades on the subway if they had a direct livewire tickling their inner goddesses. It’s one thing to look at someone reading about Christian, Ana, and the Red Room of Pain and guess that she might be getting titillated from the words alone…

    Source: Goodreads

    …but, add vibrations and heat sensors to mimic Christian’s itchy palms, and you’re looking at complete sensory overload:

    Source: Photobucket

    And no one wants to see that in public. –Natalie Zutter

  3. Book

    3.A Storm of Swords

    Gory, gory death

    Considering the abandon with which George R.R. Martin cuts down the various players in his A Song of Ice and Fire series, reading each of the five novels—with at least two more planned!—with wearable tech would be akin to playing Russian roulette.

    Source: Imgur

    To be honest, we doubt even the most hardcore GRRM fan would make it beyond the Red Wedding. That heart-stopping moment when Catelyn realizes what’s about to happen is just the beginning. The gore that follows? Our insides are churning just thinking about it. –Natalie Zutter

    Source: The Urban Daily

  4. Book

    4.The Da Vinci Code

    Fear

    Sure, The Da Vinci Code is a pretty gripping read, but experiencing what symbologist Robert Langdon feels over the course of the book sounds downright nightmarish. First, there’s investigating the murder of a Louvre curator who has rather gruesomely left a cryptic message in his own blood. From there, Langdon encounters a number of sinister characters (including Silas, a self-flagellating albino monk) who have a strong interest in stopping Langdon from solving the mystery of the Louvre curator’s murder. Not only is this bound to be an uncomfortable book to “wear”—it also sounds like a surefire recipe for a fear-induced panic attack. –Elizabeth Rowe

    Source: Tumblr/foxlucius

  5. Book

    5.Note to Self

    Embarrassment

    The protagonist of Note to Self is the person our computers know that we secretly are. Like the rest of us, she stares helplessly into the black abyss of the Internet every day, and it stares back! When she finally decides to go out and take control of her life, she ends up a laughing stock… on the Internet! That’s where the laughter never ends, people make Swedish punk-rock remixes of your failure, and no amount of adorable baby sloth videos can cure the ensuing depression.

    Source: PandaWhale

    Not even the “Follow Your Dreams” sloth can save you from that pit of despair. Oh sure, Anna learns a lot about herself on this journey and blah blah emotional catharsis blah—for me, so not worth it to feel that level of embarrassment. Just thinking about it makes me want to sink into a black hole of blankets and brownies. –Kelly Gallucci

    Source: Tumblr/sighshrugsleep

  6. Book

    6.Interview with the Vampire

    Bloodlust…and guilt

    Though becoming a vampire seems like fun in theory, when you really think about it, vampire life sucks (ha… ha… sorry about that). To experience it firsthand does not seem like a pleasant time.

    First comes the pain of the bite that turns you:

    Source: F*ck Yeah Reactions

    Then comes the insatiable hunger that dare not speak its name:

    Sources: Tumblr/chamabennani, Tumblr/robertdeniro

    Of course, with a narrator like Louis de Pointe du Lac, what follows is the all-consuming guilt that comes with murder:

    Source: Tumblr/Down the Rabbit Hole

    And eternal life will leave you with the feeling there is no way out. We definitely want to avoid this traumatizing experience, thank you very much. –Sam Adler

Elizabeth Rowe
Elizabeth was an American Studies major at Georgetown University, and is currently getting her MFA in nonfiction writing at Columbia University. She spends entirely too much time and money at the Strand, where she once saw Daniel Radcliffe. Her current obsession is the My Struggle series by Karl Ove Knausgaard, and she thoroughly embarrassed herself when she met him shortly after the release of volume four (and she has the photos to prove it).

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