The fourth Charlie Joe Jackson book, Charlie Joe Jackson’s Guide to Making Money, is being released this month. We asked this lovable slacker to help us commemorate this incredibly important event, and he was kind enough to say yes. So we present to you:
Charlie Joe Jackson’s Top Ten Ways For A Kid To Make Money Without Having To Do Any Actual Work
1. Be really nice to your grandparents around the holidays.
2. Negotiate an allowance for making your bed. Then forget to make your bed.
3. Find a job as an ice-cream tester. They have that, I swear!
4. Tell your mom you’re a growing boy (or girl), and you need two sandwiches for lunch. Then sell the second one at school.
5. Become the “agent” for the kids selling lemonade on the corner. Demand 15% of their earnings.
6. Announce that your participation in “Take Your Kid To Work Day” is not a volunteer position.
7. Scream and cry and wail that someone took ten dollars out of your wallet. Your parents will replace it just to shut you up.
8. Open up a computer consulting business. You’ll have adults lined up around the block to pay you for doing what you do a thousand times a day.
9. Get your parents to pay you three dollars for every A on your report card. Then remind them that gym counts.
10. You know that ugly scarf you got for your birthday? One word: eBay.
Tommy Greenwald has enjoyed reading all his life, which is why he’s appalled that his kids Charlie, Joe, and Jack, would prefer getting a dental checkup to checking out a book. After years of pleading, threatening, and bribing, Tommy finally decided the only way to get his kids to read was to write a book about how to get out of reading. This is the result. And they read it! (So they say.) The Executive Creative Director at SPOTCO, an entertainment advertising agency in New York City, Tommy lives in Connecticut with his wife, Cathy; his non-reading sons, Charlie, Joe and Jack; and his dogs, Moose and Coco. Check out Tommy’s website (minimal reading required) at tommygreenwald.com