What Your Favorite Omniscient Narrator Says About You
PolicyMic has rounded up great female heroines from literature and told us what our favorites say about us. If you're fan of Elizabeth Bennett of "Pride and Prejudice," you're "highly intelligent" and "headstrong." If you're partial to Hester Prynne of "The Scarlet Letter," you "court controversy."
Their list got us thinking about other voices in literature that aren't necessarily characters, but inspire just as much admiration or resentment. Omniscient narrators—those invisible, all-knowing voices—often do more than just tell a story. They guide our feelings about a book and sometimes they straight-up inject themselves into it. Here's what we think your favorite omniscient narrators from literature say about you.
You give everyone Weirdly Capitalized Nicknames.
You've been wandering Dublin aimlessly for decades, but to you it feels like not a day's gone by.
You've got the spotlight for approximately four minutes, during which everyone you hold dear will be massacred.
You need to just. Calm. Down.
You are very spirited! We suggest picking up a sport or a creative hobby. Channel it! Use it.
You're on the run from the feds, or maybe drug smugglers, or a pissed-off pimp--you've only got two unmarked pills left in your pocket, one of which will get you out of this mess, one of which will make you stop and notice puddle rainbows for the next half hour. Choose wisely.
You like to butt in and make your presence known by cutely talking about "our story" and "our heroine." Shh--let others do the talking for once!
You employ an insane amount of classical references in everyday speech. You get a lot of: "I don't know what you're talking about, but it sounds beautiful."
You need to go to Disneyworld or see a priest.